As 'Presidente' for Life' I welcome you. There is a place collectively referred to as "reality", places that are 'politically correct', and then there is my realm. 

Warning If you: are a generic person who sits on the fence, or you still run home to yo momma, please go to the  "Barney Page", the brave may proceed!


Inspector Clouseau

    "There was some question as to whethur the begger or his minkey was braking the law"

    "Do you have a leesance for your minkeey"       
 

Jack "Spartacus" Salvi on MBA advice:

                        "the beatings will continue until Morale improves."

                                             "get back to work!"

                                    "do you want to go camping?"


When you are lost on the road, or the road of life just remember:
       
                                "where ever you go, there you are"
                                  ....and hum the theme from Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life"


Tips for interpersonal conflict resolutions, or that pesky relationship:
   
                                    "careful with that Axe, Eugene..."


The difficulties of effective communication in computer consulting:                
   
    "well, sir, my client says he wasn't having any fun, and that you just kept chasing him around         this little bush -- and thats when he decided to pop you one"    

                        Gary Larson's Far Side  "The monkey and weasel in court"


The Motto of "Club Carp" (of which I am a card carrying member)
   
                                    "Romance and Live Bait!" by R. Guideon.


'The Guide to Dating in the new Millennium'

    "                                I'll be your friend forever if you buy me a Jaguar"
                           
                                     oft said by you know who, Karen L. May.


"Love is Hell" ..

                "Love is a snowmoblie racing accross the tundra and then suddenly it flips over,                          pinning you underneath.
                At night the the Ice Weasels come."  
                                            by Matt Groening.


"Its a Starter Marriage!"

                    As spoken by Marriage Counsellor, Dale (Grip Master) Ross 1st LT. ARNG.

                                           

                    For all you good Vikings out there - warm it up and strap it on:

                                    Lo, there do I see my father.
                                    Lo, there do I see my mother, my sisters and my brothers.
                                    Lo, there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning.
                                    Lo, they do call to me.
                                    They bid me take my place on Asgard in the halls of Valhalla,
                                    Where the brave may live forever.